Who Are You to Me? Knowing your job and your purpose.

I’m on my lunch break. Attempting to eat some chicken rotini soup even though I have little to no appetite because I’m stressed and a bit overwhelmed. So many things to work for, so many things to work on, so many of the same types of posts on my facebook feed, so many photos on the news, coworkers with their opinions and there’s a work party on Friday afternoon. What to wear?! And as I sit here thinking of all of that, it leaves me wondering to myself: who am I? Who are we to each other? What is my job and my purpose? What’s your job and your purpose?

Practically every hour of every day over the past few weeks I’ve seen commentary and opinions on all these murders, shootings, non-indictments and the like. I’ve seen rage and protests. I’ve seen good intentions gone awry. And every day I wonder, why is this happening? And every day I think of the GSO Compassion Mission. How good that will be if I can ever get the people behind it or the funds or whatever it takes to get a sustainable community center going from the ground up in less than 10 years. While I go out there trying to think of compassion, it’s days like these that make me overwhelmed by anger that’s not even my own! And my head hurts. It pounds like feet on the pavement. It rings like the after effects of an explosion. And yet I sit here at my job and I try to do my job and work out my purpose in my job and my life. I’m good at my job and I’m getting better at my life. Things are getting better in some ways.

But this still makes me wonder about everybody else though. All these protests, it is indeed much like a tsunami. One shift underfoot and the waves get bigger and bigger and bigger…and nobody really stops. It just keeps going. Peace and compassion gets thrown out the window even though people swear that what they’re doing is going to lead to peace. Or it’s because of peace and compassion. However, there’s so much that is literally and figuratively being destroyed in the process and nobody’s talking about building. Nobody’s really talking about what happens next after we’ve trampled all this injustice under foot. Or what’s going on with the police these days (in compared to the days of yore and such) that makes them…just as afraid as us. But that’s supposedly not the point anymore.

As much as what we’re working on as a whole is for peace and justice, I think it would be best to simultaneously create that peace and compassion. Create that Justice and Truth we all dream of. Some of it comes from protests. Some of it comes from reaching across the divide. Some of it comes from just looking in the eyes of the other person long enough that connection becomes possible and the anger subsides. But that kind of thinking is the pearl under the tsunami. And after all this rage and protest and unity and solidarity subsides, somebody will dive down to the depths of humanity and look at that pearl and finally ask “What about this?” And it will begin.

But until then, I think I just might have to wait out this storm of protests, generational mimicry and mockery, unity and the like and see what happens. I’m very interested to see what happens.

Creating a Legacy: Community Building

Creating a legacy can be hard. I’m pretty sure it’s not the easiest thing to do, especially nowadays. I’ve been reading these books on being founder of a nonprofit, nonprofit management, entrepreneurship, all while working legitimately 40 hour weeks, waking up early to do things I don’t have time for during the day and making awfully poor attempts at staying up late to spend time with my night-owl boyfriend. All the meanwhile, thinking of how to do outreach single handedly and make my presence more known on twitter and/or facebook while thinking about ways to promote and release my baking/blog store (www.thespatteredspatula.com) in early 2015. It’s all part of actively building a future. Actively building a legacy. Not just for me, but for my boyfriend, my mom, my friend in Lexington who just recently lost her brother, for my grandmother who passed away not too soon after I graduated high school, for my deep thinking friend who committed suicide many years ago and for my extended family member’s wife who met a similar fate. She valued education and doing what you want to do in life, her eyes were so bright bright her heart was dark…and this is all for them. The GSO Compassion Mission is all for them.

But I’m 27 years old, trying to build a future, clean up the past and live in the present and it’s difficult! It’s really difficult. It’s really hard. But it’s not impossible. I hardly think that it’s ever impossible.

My grandmother seemed to be a great and passionate entrepreneur. And it’s times like these that I definitely wish that she were around to see what I’m working on. To help out with some crazy schemes and promotion. To tell me that this is good work that I’m doing. I’m sure she see’s it all the time now. My mother is an educator in many ways and now she kind of goes from day to day kind of doing what she needs to do, while trying to do what she enjoys, but I don’t think it’s everything that she wants.

And so now, here I am at 5:50 in the morning, updating a blog and watching Sons of Anarchy since I fell asleep lastnight on the couch again and couldn’t watch the show with my boyfriend. And here I am thinking about how to build a legacy while I’m alive. A lot of things get expedited when you’re gone, unfortunately. It takes a lot of work in order to do the same work when you’re here. And that’s what I’m trying to do. It doesn’t make a lot of sense to a lot of people. There are other projects going on in town, people are collaborating and working on other things and can’t think about what will happen in a year, 3 years, 5 years, or even 8 years when (ideally, fingers crossed) the house is unveiled.

The GSO Compassion Mission needs a lot of hearts and hands on it, a lot of boots on the ground, a lot of funds and collaborations and connections in a lot of different places. It can’t be done alone. It has to be done together. So that my legacy becomes a whole lot more.

Collaboration part one: Summerfield Farms

Yesterday I went to Summerfield Farms in Summerfield, NC for their customer appreciation day. It was my first stop at Summerfield Farms, but I’ve driven by there from time to time in the past. Upon doing some research, I realized that Summerfield Farms (or anybody connected to it), would be a great partner, connection and resource to have. But first I have to figure out how to get to that partner/connection/resource.

The land itself is 500 acres. They grow their own farm fresh food, fruits and vegetables, they have their own livestock, and they even hold weddings from time to time! It’s a very multi-functional place and that’s why I feel like I have a lot to learn from them. If I can find the right connections. However, they wouldn’t let me leave my business cards, so I’m not sure that any of them know I exist in that manner, lol. Oh well. That’s what email’s for, right? So we’ll see.

So I wandered around the front area for a little while when they first started the day and took a few pictures. I eventually went home once I got a few items and took a couple more pictures. Overall I think it’s a pretty cool place. It’s just hard to get a foot in the door with people that have really built something like that–so big and known and useful in it’s own way. Here’s to hoping that I’ll get to partner up with them in this venture:

The Code

By this point, if you’re reading this, you’ve seen this code:

 

Welcome to the GSO Compassion Mission! As you can see, this blog has been up for a little while, but there’s a bit of a gap from May or so of this year until now. I recently got a job working downtown and unfortunately can no longer spend my days tracking down contacts. It’s usually late at night, super early in the morning, or on Saturdays during the day that I get the most meetings/research opportunities done.

So, what is the GSO Compassion Mission? It’s a 3000+sq ft home with a finished basement that serves as a sustainable community home for education and growth. I call this the “8 year plan”: 3 years to plan and recruit, 5 years to build. If a miracle occurs and this gets put up earlier, then yay!

Details of this whole project can be found here:

The GSO Compassion Mission slideshow

…and a video presentation can be found here!

I can be contacted at home4gso@yahoo.com or on facebook at www.facebook.com/gsocompassionmission

If you’re interested in being a part of this project, know someone who’d like to be a part of this project, or just have questions about this project, please don’t hesitate to facebook message me or email me!

Learning Piece by Piece and Getting Dirty Fingers

So my last post was “And so it begins!” as I turned 26 and immediately felt the clock ticking on my life. I am currently in a situation where thinking that way is not encouraged for many reasons. It doesn’t do anybody else any good to complain about your life situation. Nobody really cares about your life situation. And there’s plenty of time to figure out whatever you need to figure out. I keep telling people that’s not the case and if we want to “be change” then we should start now while we’re in our 20s, wherever that age might be. But nobody around me really thinks like that. So I end up thinking that way by myself because while everybody turns their back, my thought wrinkle in the middle of my eyebrows grows deeper, I concentrate harder, and I become more determined to not convince myself that I’m crazy, that what I’m doing isn’t important, and it doesn’t matter.

So I go to Home Depot and collect all these samples. I go to Google and learn how to build things (http://www.ehow.com/list_6827966_materials-build-model-house.html#page=1) . I eavesdrop on customer conversations as they talk about how to measure things on a house. Or how to build stairs. And I keep it in the back of my mind for later use with the GSO Compassion Mission because I’m not crazy. What I’m doing is important. And it does matter.

So what I’ve been doing (other than convincing myself I’m not mental), is trying to find the time to figure out how to build a model of the GSO Compassion Mission. I won’t post photos until later on when more things are in place, but I must say it’s a little difficult. But “a little difficult” never stopped me from trying to figure something out. I got a big piece of cardboard, found smaller and thinner pieces of cardboard (almost like cardstock) and started measuring out the dimensions of the house. As I built the first floor and the second floor, placed the green houses and the shed, things came together. However, seeing as it’s held together by small pieces of scotch tape, although it’s coming together, one small gust of wind or a step that’s too heavy, could probably make it come apart.

So readers (whoever you may be), this house is coming together, falling apart, coming back together and one day soon it’ll be a model. And that model will be a promise to everyone that a home is that much closer to being finished and made just for you. It might take a little while, but Rome wasn’t built in a day and I’m one person with two hands and ten dirty fingers.

“1) Forget about having an identity crisis and get some identity capital. –do something that’s an investment in who you wanna be next.

2) The urban tribe is overrated. –new things come from what are “weak ties”. Half of new jobs aren’t even posted.

3) The time to start picking your family is now. –“you can’t pick your family, but you can pick your friends”. Grabbing whoever you’re sleeping with when everybody else starts walking down the aisle is not progress. Be as intentional with love as you are with work.

4) Don’t be defined by what you didn’t know or didn’t do.”

And So It Begins! The GSO Compassion Mission!

    http://www6.homedepot.com/how-to/index.html

Today I am 26 years old.

And now. We get to the nitty gritty behind this blog.

So far we’ve talked about making a house a home, practicing religion, mental illness, education, resting, being kind, learning from the history to better move into the future, on being crazy, on being vulnerable, on being unemployed, quitting and creativity. If there are some of you out there who have been following my blog on the GSO Compassion Mission, perhaps you’ve been wondering what I’ve been getting at by writing on all these topics. Understandable.

I’ve written on all these topics in an effort to practice storytelling. It’s been my conscious effort to relate each story to me or make each story/blog something that’s easy to relate to. This way, when people participate in the building and working with the GSO Compassion Mission, they’ll feel like they have a stake in it as well, and that’s what’s most important; to have a stake in it. This is not just a home for a certain type of people or population. This is a HOME for everyone. A home for you.

I want my mom to come to this house and meditate and help grow fruits and vegetables in the raiki garden and the greenhouses. I want some of my girlfriends to come and help bake pies for a holiday or special occasion and bond. I want my friends to come and volunteer and help with the house and those that come to it. You see where I’m going? I want people to have an investment in this house because it will be their house as well in a way.

So now you might ask “Well, what about that Home Depot apron at the beginning of this post?” Home Depot is where I will be getting my inspiration and information from. When I think of building or renovating anything, I think of a Home and I think of the Home Depot. They have a lot of How-To workshops on most weekends, they have a whole How-To section of their website featuring tips, blogs, projects and videos. Even if you start out not knowing what you’re doing, I’d like to think that a few trips to Home Depot and ample time on their website can help you figure it out! There are even some free samples of certain items like carpets, hardwoods and paint that can help you get on your way, and it’s those samples as well as their online info and workshops that I will be using to make this communal dream a reality.

I will be looking for powers from Home Depot and the Internet to help me and my community to not only build the home, but to make it as sustainable and green as possible. That way, it won’t only be a home to the community, it will be benefiting the environment, which we all know effects each and every one of us every day.

So if you’re reading this, please contact me at home4gso@yahoo.com to get started on this home for you! Finally.